Me: Shit, I have only 48 hours to teach Bean how to wipe his own butt.
BW: Um, why?
Me: Because at the open house they said that all kid's in the 3's class have to be able to wipe themselves. They have some kind of policy that the teacher's can't touch poo, so, like, if he takes a dump at school they would have to call me to come wipe him if he can't do it himself. I mean, I wish I had known about this earlier.
BW: Jesus Christ, I am paying this little school $330 a month-- they better wipe my kids ass.
Me: Do you want to call the school and tell The White Witch.
BW: *Pause* Just tell him he can't take a dump at school.
Me: Like, "No hitting, kicking, or shitting?'
BW: Exactly.
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